Friends and family of late San Diego Chargers linebacker Junior Seau have shared new revelations about the future Hall of Famer's state of mind before his May 2 suicide.
A detailed feature in Sunday's San Diego Union-Tribune reports that while Seau did not leave a suicide note at home, he did scribble lyrics to one of his favorite songs, a country ballad called "Who I Ain't." The song, which was co-written by Seau's friend Jamie Paulin, describes a man struggling with who he has become, as detailed below.
"I never made a deal with the devil, but I broke promises to the Lord.
I've tried to be the man I should, but sometimes I fall short.
I'm not a man of anger; I never meant to hurt no one.
But there are things in my life, I'm sad to say I've done.
Cuz I broke the hearts of angels, cursed my fellow man.
Turned from the Bible with a bottle in my hand.
My only hope for forgiveness, when the good Lord calls my name.
Is that He knows who I am and who I ain't,"
The story also goes into details about Seau's long-term insomnia and the various other maladies that plagued him during and after his career. Despite never being officially diagnosed with a concussion during his playing career, Seau's son Tyler said that his father displayed plenty of characteristics of CTE, or chronic traumatic encephalopathy.
"Prior to my father's death, we didn't know about any kinds of signs or symptoms for traumatic brain injury, because we were very uneducated," Tyler Seau told the newspaper. "But now, in hindsight, we know that my Dad had every single one of them."
It's a heartbreaking story that seems to get even more tragic the more we learn about it.
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